Full contact long distance running.
I’ve always been amazed that marathon running doesn’t attract the same hordes of fans as major league baseball. They both feature non-stop, edge-of-your-seat excitement, but only baseball, with it’s mandatory steroids and topless umpires, seems to attract the rabidly casual audience that so appeals to advertisers. My new take on long-distance running adds a layer of intense violence to a sport that captures our most primal instinct: running the fuck away.
It is time to make drastic changes. Baseball and running are arguably two of mankind’s oldest skills, and the pursuance of greatness in both fields will unquestionably be what most defines our era in the annals of history. For those of you reading this in the far future, fuck you. You guys are so shallow.